Why Me? When dreams and visions torment you.

If you're struggling with spiritual visions, dreams and other spiritual phenomenon that torment, terrify and confuse you, this is for you.

It's been my experience that people can feel tormented by visions and dreams. They may start as cool things but there's a type of spiritual phenomenon that'll create feelings of self-hatred, make you feel like shit, guilty or like something is wrong with you (e.g. spiritual awakenings, so-called twin flames, nightmares). 

If you're going through that, firstly you must know - God doesn't hate you. And there is nothing wrong with you. Attracting demons and demonic interference that makes you feel down, worthless, hopeless and discouraged can have a few reasons.

You are either inviting demons to target you with their thoughts (demons are not like little red devils, they look or can lool like angels of light) but they need human negativity, its their mission. They can be invited through our actions, but many times for no identifiable cause (and that's the case I'm addressing here) and when they do it feels like they attach themselves to those having these kind of unsolicited spiritual visions, that seems to have come from no where or for no reason you can think of. You were just minding your busines when one day, bam! You experience these phenomenon and it suddenly takes over your life.

Now listen, you are a son/daughter of God... as a father, let me tell you, we love our children to death no matter what they do. These visions and dreams can make you feel ashamed or tormented, they may make you feel tempted but are too strong for you to dismiss as random dreams. They may sound so spiritual that you will wonder if its from God, but the negative emotions you feel will also make you question if they are coming dark spirits. And thus you'll be torn between wanting to pay attention to them because they seem as if from God and wanting to completely forget them because they seem to tempt and torment you. And you experience this massive internal dissonance, you may feel responsible for them and like something is broken in you. 

In a moment, let me share with you some biblical stories that will show you that God cares, you need not feel guilty and maybe they will help you get some insight into why God allows this to happen.

You see, you are not broken in the sense that you need fixing, you do not need to find things to numb the pain, or for you to forget, to medicate yourself through drugs, drinks or activities just to escape the torment of this very spiritual phenomenon that has very real affects on your mind and even body.

It can get to the point where you are saying and thinking:

"Why oh why can't you just fix me?

When all I want's to feel numb

But the medication's all gone

Why oh why does God hate me?

When all I want's to get high

And forget this so-called life"

Like the song by Rx, called Medicate

Consider these heroes of faith:

The story of Ayoub or Job is the oldest in the Book. His name means hated one. He was a very very righteous man. But one day, satan challenged God and God let Satan bring calamities to Job. Job felt that it was God who was tormenting him, even on his bed with dreams and visions... as if God cooperated indirectly with Satan. 

Job would lose everything - his health, his children, his wealth and even his mental peace. And you know the rest, how God restores him to an even greater fullness. I share this to show you, even if dark forces are attacking you - it is not beyond God's control.

Then there is another story of a young righteous man, Daniel; God also sent him visions and dreams. These things terrified him. They were so powerful he became physically sick for 3 weeks. I myself experienced something similar and felt sick for 3 days, couldn't even eat. But God told him to write and "seal it" and they would surely happen. Daniel's prophecies came true 4 centuries later. 

People say visions and dreams from God should not rob you of peace, as if they are all roses and lilies. The truth is the spiritual dimension can be a jarring place for us to see, it can torment us and have profound affects on our mind and even personality. I wouldn't recommend anyone go and actively seek them, but that's for another day. (Other articles on this blog may say different things; I wrote them, but years ago. I don't want to delete them because we need different things for different parts of our own spiritual journeys and I don't want to hide that I am also on one myself.)

Then there is Jesus. The SPIRIT led him into the desert to be TEMPTED by the devil. Let that sink in since it will give you insight; this is God cooperating (really commanding) the devil.  Satan tempted Jesus with visions and dreams and yet it was the Spirit who led Him into the place where this would happen. 

I can also mention Abraham and his wildly weird and dark visions, Joseph whose dreams made his brothers so jealous they sold him into slavery, but decades later his dreams came true and Joseph saved a civilization and his own family. And many others biblical stories of their kind.

The question is not "why me?", "why is the devil or God doing this? or even "who is it from? what is the source of these visions and dreams; divine or devilish, from heaven or 'hell'?"

Its happening. Its real. And its horrible.

The question is what happens to you as a result of these visions/dreams.

They will torment you, they will tempt you, they will deceive you, warn you, terrify you... yes but there is something else you are not seeing.

They will destroy your image of your self (because it is built on many lies).

They will force you to abandon your ambitions and personal dreams/goals (bad ones) becauese they are NOT good for you.

They will cause you to redefine what is important, your own values will change because what you value now is shit.

They will BREAK YOU DOWN.

And it may take many years.

But the new you that rises like the phoenix will be so good and true and strong and full of light...

There is a purpose to all this.

If anything, this is happening because you ARE MEANT FOR MORE then vanities and false gods (desires) you chase.

And the only way He gets you to cross over to that new land (that more wholesome, God centered life He wants you to live on earth here) is to destroy from the inside the things that are evil for you. Your pride is broken so you can learn humility and yet understand how much God values YOU irrespective of things that have given you self-pride.

In the end, your very core will change, your personality and character, it will become TRUE to the real you as daughter/son of God- which is who you are but you don't know it yet so fully.

Its not about religion but freedom, freedom from the world and the lies you've swallowed all your life.

So no, this isn’t happening because you are unworthy or bad... its happening precisely for the opposite reasons. (I am not suggesting this to be true for those who intentionally seek out such phenomenon from unknown spirits etc).

You are too precious and your life too precious to waste it on stupid vanities

Take heart. You are the Beloved. Nothing will harm you. 

Above all, always stand in your Righteousness... even more so when you are tormented and disturbed. 

Remember my words.