I Am... Nothing

We are bombarded by the message that you have to achieve. You have to be someone great. You have to seize opportunities. I get it. Far too many are living on autopilot, their lives are simply in a default mode, they are without goals, ambition and drive. So you've got the hustlers who are goal-oriented and seizing life by the horns and you've got the drifters who are helpless and ignorantly just floating down the stream of life.

But is there a third way? A better way? A God way?

I came in this earth with nothing, naked. And I will leave with nothing. Whether that day is in one tomorrow or ten thousand more, I don't know but it begs the question... if I came with nothing and will leave with nothing, then it's all a vanity to tie my self-worth and self-image to what I have done, to who I am as a man, and to what I've accumulated. 

Some people realize this while they're ahead. Others need to crash and burn and realize they are nothing to reach this point (this is what happened to Moses by the way, he was 40 years old). I'm the latter, like Moses. Though I am blessed in unfathomable ways, though I've gone through this pandemic and just as Psalm 91 says, it did not touch me (I did catch Covid, but I am speaking from a life standpoint - I was so well supplied through it all, as a family we grew, we enjoyed even the pause, my health has never been better, we're living in abundance)...

But on the other hand, and if I am honest, I am now lost, my career broken, my finances are nothing to speak of though somehow, I live without debt and with so many material blessings and abundance. It in fact defies logic. My family, my strength and my health and all these blessings - none of them were achieved by me. I can't take the credit for any of it. God was the one who enabled all of it. 

And I reached the point of why try at all? What am I supposed to do when every door I sought closed shut in my face, and the doors I did not even knock on opened? 

And then I saw God. He invited me to pass the veil that led to His presence. And He told me: most people come to My presence and stop at the veil. They look at the veil and study everything written on it. They learn about Me and My laws and all that. But they don't step in through it to be with Me. He told me then, that veil is actually religion of every kind. 

So I went in through the veil. And I said, I am nothing. I am not the man I want to be. I have achieved nothing by the strength of my arm nor my intelligence. 

And He said, You are empty. Now go and fill yourself with My waters and let the overflow take care of the rest. Don't concern yourself with the overflow. You just jump in and fill yourself with Me. 

So there I imagined myself, a well and that I had to dig a path for the waters of life to fill the well and then I said, no there must be an easier way. So I imagined myself as a frog and jumped into this Heavenly Fountain, so light blue and full of radiance and goodness. And I just sat there. 

I am nothing. I need to be filled. And though I am forty, I feel like my life has just begun... here at the realization that I am nothing, sitting in the pool of life like a frog. Its now your turn to jump in.